An Adjustment to Apartment Life

I type this to you by the light of my laptop (or rather my roommate’s laptop). Why, you may ask, am I typing only using the light of a laptop? It might have something to do with the lack of overhead lights in my new apartment. Now, mind you, the Western wall is essentially entirely a window so I get plenty of light in the morning, however, if you’ll look at the timestamp you’ll see that I’m typing this out of sheer boredom going on the 10 o’clock hour. If I had dignity to spare perhaps I’d type this using the light that I have for my closet, but considering that I’d hafta sit in my closet to do that, I think I’ll just hold out. Regardless, it strikes me as a little ridiculous that living in this modern apartment that I’m in with no overhead lighting. It just makes me wonder… when did overhead lights become superfluous and where the hell was I? Mind you, before I began typing I seriously considered typing in the closet…
What’s more mind blowing is that I’m not the only person plagued by this problem. I don’t just mean the other people in my building, but a couple friends of mine who are leasing a townhouse for the year have absolutely no overhead lights in their bedrooms. It’s just kinda weird to me, I guess, probably because the move is still pretty new so I haven’t had time to go out and buy a floor lamp, but perhaps even more bizarre is what these apartments DO have. Take the oven for instance, complete with 5 stove top burners (because 4 is evidently so passe) and a warming drawer. What, you might ask, is a warming drawer? I honestly couldn’t tell you. It sounds self explanatory but I’m convinced there’s something more to it. I tried to use it and it just started beeping really angrily at me… I’ve since decided to give up modern living if it’s gonna take that tone with me. But, then again, I don’t know what I was expecting considering I still don’t how to use the broiler. It’s not so much that I don’t know HOW it’s more I don’t know why I would. In my 21 years of existence I’ve yet to come across something that I needed to broil. I mean, I’ve been given the option to broil certain foods, but I’m a purist so I like to stick with what I know (stove, microwave, or if I’m feeling ballsy I’ll use the oven).
As if the equipment that the apartment comes with standard isns’t it enough, my roommate brought her own little arsenal of kitchen equipment. I mean, that’s cool and all, I like having pans to cook with as much as the next dude, but there are just some things that seem a little ridiculous to me. For instance, how many varieties of spatulas does one apartment need? I may not be the best source to ask considering for most of my life if I had to flip something as I cooked it, I’d just do it by hand and hope that the grease burns didn’t hurt too bad… I respect the fact that she cooks and she likes to have the necessary utensils to do so, but it’s bad when you walk into the kitchen and start thinking about breathing into a paper bag because, yeah, it’s THAT overwhelming. Then again, it’s whatever. We all have our own little idiosyncrasies… some are just a little more daunting than others it would seem.
I mean, I understand that moving into any new place is gonna be an adjustment, and I’m cool with that. I’m sure it’ll start to feel homier when I actually have a bed or even lighting to read by at night…


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