For all those looking for a review on the Alexis Bledel movie, hate to disappoint. Actually, I’m fine with disappointing since that movie is disappointing. Anyway, sorry to bore you all but this is sort of going to be a “woe is me” kind of post. Not self-pitying just self-deprecating. Are you ready? Okay…
It’s been a while since I finished school. Sure, there were some setbacks like my professor getting hospitalized and not giving me a grade for a month (yeah, I still feel guilty about getting irritated that I hadn’t received a grade when I heard about that one…) or my advisor not listing me as graduated for about 2 months after the fact. Still, I’ve been a confirmed graduate for a little while now. So why am I not getting jobs? No, I get it, I understand that it’s a tough market out there, but seriously? Like I said, even Gap wouldn’t return my calls.
The problem isn’t really just the jobs though. See, what people don’t usually account for is this idea that employment is directly related to a sense of self-worth. For those of you who have jobs, I’m not saying you don’t have problems. We all have them which is why I try not to take my own to heart. But when someone pretty much says “you’re not good enough even to fold clothes”, you can’t help but take it personally. It’s true, I don’t have a college degree in folding clothes or customer service, but I have a college degree! I think I can handle it… factor in job experience and you’d think even something would hire, even if it isn’t in my field.
Because after all, I’m not naive. It’ll be a long time before I’m paid for my writing (except that one fluke incident) but at least I’m still writing, right? I write 2 publications now as well as maintaining this. People are happy to look at my writing and use it, but pay for it? That’s a different story. Once again, I know times are tough, but this whole writing for free still kind of gets to me. I mean, I’m more than happy to do it, it’s just hard to invest one’s self in a work like that. Then again lately, I feel like I’ve had a hard time investing myself in writing at all lately. I just worry that I’m no good at it and as much as I can blame the economy, that won’t change the fact that if I’m not a good writer, I never will be.
I don’t know if I’m just being melodramatic or I’ve just been given too much time to think. It’s likely that it’s a combination of both. Still, for those of you who continue to read, I appreciate it. For those of you who visit the page or read these posts on Facebook, please show your support by becoming a follower of this page.
I think I’ll end on an Eeyore note and say to those who have stuck with it and those who are reading now… thanks for noticing me.