Is There a Phobia for Ordering Take-Out?

I know it seems awfully stereotypical, but does anybody else have a debilitating fear of talking to the people who answer the phones at take-out places? I mean, I should probably start by saying I’m not a big fan of the phone to begin with. I get it, it was a great invention, it revolutionized the way we communicate and all that, but I’ve never been a big fan of the phone. It might have something to do with the fact that I hate the way I sound on the phone… or more likely than not, it might have to do with that whole deaf thing where my hearing still isn’t too great.

Still, whatever it is that freaks me out about the phone is only increased when forced to talk to people at the take-out place. There’s just something about the whole experience that’s so forced and rushed. Like, I understand that you have other orders to take, but can you please not yell at me? Then again, try saying that to someone there and it usually doesn’t do you a whole lot of good. If anything, it just kind of makes me afraid that they’re gonna spit in my wontons.

Then, you have to factor in that not everyone there is a great English speaker. It sound racist, I know, but it’s the truth sometimes, okay? So then you have to make sure you speak slowly and enunciate so that they can understand your order. That’s all well and good (although sometimes I find myself getting frustrated and have to hold the phone away from my mouth so I can utter a few swears) but it doesn’t solve one of the key problems in the first place… I still can’t understand them.

The whole calling in thing is surprisingly exhausting and by the time I’m done with it all (and I wish I was kidding) by the time my food arrives, I’m so bitter about it that I have to force myself to eat. Now anyone who’s seen me eat knows that that’s saying a lot, but the whole ordering take-out thing is honestly one of the more frustrating things I’ve encountered. The solution to it all? Some of you may think “Um… then just don’t order take-out?” but that would be far too simple for my taste. Instead, if someone else is with me, I just have them order or (since I live alone in a studio apartment) I only order from places that have online ordering. Cut out the middle man and still get my chicken fried rice.

“Wow,” some of you might say :that’s really uninteresting!” Well, I got news for you buddy! You didn’t have to read this, now did you? No, but seriously, I probably shouldn’t accost my readers. I’ve only got so many left. But seriously folks, if you have any ideas for future posts, please send them my way! I’d love to hear your thoughts!

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