How Do you Call Off With No Voice?

No, it’s not a riddle. After being pretty much perfectly healthy all winter, I’ve finally gotten sick. Never mind that it’s not even that cold out or anything, but it’s finally happened and I’m a disgusting display of humanity. One of the more charming features of this sickness is the loss of my voice. Now, as most of you who know me can tell, me losing my voice is like a painter losing his sight. I love to talk, it’s what I do.

But never mind that. Talking also comes in handy when you have work that day. Well, not just talking, but not being sick in general is always helpful. Nevertheless, I’ve never called off work before unless I was, like, hospitalized or had a death in the family or anything. Even when I’m not a fan of the job, it’s just not something I do. But after about my fourth coughing fit in a period of 20 minutes, I decided it might be time.

There’s one small issue with the system that we’ve got set up at my job. I answer phones all day, which pretty much is what it is, so we’re a big phone place. So naturally, it makes sense that to call off we call up the number of our work and wait to speak to a manager to let them know the whole situation. Well, there’s one fatal flaw in this whole plan… what do you do when you have no voice?

I waited on hold for awhile and when I finally got through, I tried to tell my co-worker who it was. Since this delightful loss of vocals, I can’t speak certain sounds. They’re either too high or too low so my throat just doesn’t make them. Honestly, it probably sounded like a bad connection from hell, because my “voice” freaked out my co-worker pretty bad.

STill, I work at a place that brings in a sizable cash flow every year. They’ve proven themselves to be capable managers of a business and I applaud them for that. Why then? Why is there no other way to call in sick than by using the telephone? I think I’ve proven that it doesn’t do much else but freak out the people you work with when they hear you attempt to speak. Let’s work on that, all I’m saying.

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