Now anyone who knows me knows that I have an addictive personality. I’m not not talking about drinking and smoking. In retrospect, part of me wishes I was… but no, I’m talking about Facebook games. Back in the olden days, by which I mean last summer or maybe two summers ago at most, it was mafia Wars or Mob Wars. Honestly, it was in the beginning stages, because I can’t even remember which one it was that I played. Then, it moved on to Farmville. Farmville was a nice transition because you planted crops and everything so you didn’t need to be by your computer all day to check on crops. Then cafe World entered/ruled my life for some time. Meals, as most people know, are done faster than crops so this one required a little more attention to detail. By a little more, I really mean that I would set alarms on my cell phone to make sure I had time to serve food.
That’s when I realized I had a problem. Now some of you may be thinking “crack is a problem” or “being sexually abused by the church deacon is a problem”, but I assure you growing up in upper/middle class, predominantly white suburbia, this is the closest to an addiction I’ve probably ever come. SO I decided to ween myself, but any addict will tell you, it’s a process. That being the case, I can proudly say, my name is Calhoun, I’m a Facebook games addict and I’ve been off Cafe World for about 2 months.
Which brings me to my next issue, which I hesitate to even call an issue. For those Facebook savvy folks out there, you may or may not know that Family Feud is available to play on Facebook. The problem is, my plan of moderation isn’t going as well as I’d hoped. Sure, it only allows you to play 2 episodes a day, but what happens when they forget to add new episodes one day? Well, I can tell you because that’s the sort of crisis I’m going through now. i haven’t played since late last night after getting off of work. I use it as my stress relief, which isn’t always effective, but whatever, it’s a work-in-progress. So of course, right now, I’m doing all I can to avoid going back to my Facebook and checking if the Family Feud episodes are up for the day.
Now as for this stress relief thing, I don’t know how many of you have guilty pleasures which you truly feel keep you sane, but I know I’ve got mine. Family feud is undoubtedly one of them. The issue is, well, you know how they survey Americans and you’re supposed to guess what most Americans say? Well, we run into a little problem when most Americans are stupid. I don’t mean to sound harsh… well, actually, I do. The category is “Name some of the most common things you find on a fast food burger”. I go through all the staples of burgers like ketchup, pickles, and even bun. What was the number one response? Beef. Now, I don’t know how you eat your burgers, but would you say that you find beef ON your fast food burger? You’re an idiot if you would, honestly. It IS the burger, how can it be ON the burger? This isn’t some philosophical question, I’m asking, quite literally, how can something be on what it is? It can’t! Of course, this is the question that made me lose the round and kept me from Fast Money. What followed was a string of obscenities too profane even for the internet and a chain of events that led me to stubbing my toe on the corner of my table. needless to say, I’m re-thinking my stress relief, but then again, it has to be better for me than cafe World, right?