A Nightmare of Freddy Proportions

I don’t sleep well. It always happens this time of year, for the past 5 years. I just either stop sleeping or when I do sleep, I have nightmares. It’s always the same one, but the other night, I don’t know what it was, but I managed to break the cycle.

Well, this is obviously a good thing, but don’t be fooled, it has its down side. I mean, I’m glad the nightmares are over but after the dream I had last night, I’d be willing to go back to the recurring nightmare. See, last night’s dream, or at least what I remember of it, was a sex dream. I know, I know, you’re all so scandalized because I’m actually talking about having a sex dream. But don’t feel too bad, it was far from an enjoyable experience.

See, I’m not one for dream psychology and it’s time like this, I’m especially glad I’m not. It was no ordinary sex dream. This dream was with… the pope. I know, I know, it’s weird and particularly disgusting, but it just happened and when I woke up, I was a little too horrified to try to go back to sleep.

Even if I was a believer in dream psychology, what could this possibly mean? I mean, I get most of my dream psychology how “dream logic” allows us to interpret the physical world. When your teeth fall out in your dreams, it represents a fear of getting older and all that stuff. But seriously, what could the pope possibly represent? Because at this stage, I’m in denial and I need the pope to represent anything but the pope. That’d just be too creepy.

For starters, as a lapsed catholic, it’s rare for me to think about the pope, if ever. Now throw in some Barry White and get the drinks flowing? It’s more disgusting than I’d thought possible. I mean, we’re talking the pope here. The guy did not get his job by sleeping up the corporate ladder and he did NOT earn it for his looks or Nazi-youth charm. He’s pretty much disgusting in every way, but nevertheless, last night happened.

I wish it was one of those things that we don’t talk about, but seriously, this is a nightmare of Freddy proportions. I mean, who does that?!? Or more importantly, how do I ever stop it from happening again? My fear of sleep and nightmares are back.

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