Why do People Read Out Loud in Horror Movies?

We all know that the horror genre has stupid conventions. The black guy dies first. The couple that stays together gets slain together. I mean, they’re all indicative of deeply xenophobic tendencies. But enough about that, we all know that exists in the horror genre. This isn’t to say it’s right but let’s be real, it’s old news. What I’d like to know right now isn’t a tendency of the horror genre itself, but more typically, the sub-genre of the monster movie.
Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching a lot “The Mummy: The Animated Series” or I’ve just had to watch too many lame creature features for film classes, but one thing has always bugged me. I mean, it all starts out innocently enough in the quest for knowledge, right? Usually it has to do with something like some sacred text or a book that was hidden away because it was too powerful for the common man. Okay, let’s say that’s NOT huge tip off that you shouldn’t be looking for it. I mean, just for the sake of this, let’s pretend. So it all starts out fine and dandy with some nerd wanting to find this thing, which is innocent enough.
Now, the time comes in the movie or show or whatever, for them to actually find the text. Undoubtedly some spooky stuff starts happening, warning the audience but evidently not the brilliant archeologist or historian who was able to track this down. I mean, you’ve got an audience of 8 year olds who can figure out that something’s going down before world-class archeologists? Once again, you’re losing me, but okay, whatever, we’ll just let it slide. I mean, it is just a movie.
But here comes the unforgivable part. For some reason, late at night or deep in the tombs of some ancient pyramid, some schmuck starts to read from the book aloud. Of course, this is how we get the villain of the piece, but I mean, seriously? First of all, who’s like “Hey, man, it sure is boring down here, why not pick up some ancient text for light reading?” I mean, that’s just idiotic even if there isn’t a mummy or something. Then you’ve got the fact that the section they always seem to read allowed is in the ancient language. It’s not like they’re translating by reading it out loud. Then it always seems like after they’ve read it aloud they say to themselves “Wow, what an odd warning… he will arise again and suck out my brains through my nose? Wonder what that means…” and then you’re surprised when you end up dead?!? I mean, it’s all right there. All the clues, even the description of how you’re going to get killed and STILL, surprised? And finally, seriously outside of a kindergarten classroom, who reads aloud? I mean, when you’re by yourself, that just seems like a weird practice to me. All I’m saying is, if you find yourself doing any of these things? You might just have it coming, that’s all.


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