I’m a man of simple pleasures. I mean, really, it doesn’t take much to make me happy. Sure, I get a little annoyed with some of the little things, but I guess that’s the price you pay for having disturbingly low standards. I don’t lose sleep over them or anything, but there are just some things that, no matter how hard you try or how often it happens, you just can’t get behind.
Like studio logos. I know it’s a weird thing to take a stance on, but I’m just sayin’, we all have our limits. Now this isn’t the case with every studio, but I’ll just use the example of Universal, because they’re particularly bad about it. I get the advertising aspect, no one needs to explain economics to me. I know that you need to be a visible force, especially when it comes to movies, to make money, but here’s the thing. I bought the DVD or blu-ray or whatever it may be. You already have my money. Hell, even if I only rented it, you’re still taking my money. I’m at peace with that, the whole money in exchange for goods and/or services thing.
My question is, then why do I have to sit through your logo about three times before I even get to the titles? In the case of Universal here’s the breakdown. Once before the previews, pretty much immediately after you put the blu ray in and then a second time after the previews but before the main menu, with the third time being right as the movie begins. Look Universal, I’m glad you’ve stamped your studio logo on all these pieces of shit (no movie specifically, let’s just be real, most movies these days are turning out to be shit), but in the immortal words of Valerie Cherish “I don’t wanna see that!”
To add salt to the wound, at least on most movies I’ve encountered, there’s no way to skip it. In fact, on a couple of them, when you hit the menu button, it just takes you back to the beginning so they make you watch it all over again. I know it may seem like I’m blowing this out of proportion, but it’s not like it’s the anti-piracy warning or anything. This is just for the studio’s own vanity and money-making purposes. Besides, as soon as I see that spinning globe, I can tell you it’s Universal, do I really need to stick around for the trumpet fanfare?
This petty complaint brought to you by John Calhoun Kersten. Thanks for reading.