The Internet is Really Really Great…

Today’s post is decidedly rather PG-13 so if you keep on reading, well, you’ve been warned so that shit’s on you. Now know I’m late to the game, but I’m just now getting around to watching “Lost”, not because I want to but because I think it’ll be beneficial in one of the classes I’m taking this fall. Now this is where it might get confusing for those who don’t watch the show or who haven’t watched the first season in a while, but just stay with me. In Locke’s whole backstory, they make sure his life is super depressing and all that, but one thing struck me and that was his relationship with Helen, who at this point pretty much sounds like a phone sex operator.

Alright, done with Lost, now I can focus on the real issue. Not to sound all jerry Seinfeild-y, but seriously, what is the deal with phone sex? I legitimately cannot understand why someone would pay $2.99 to have some stranger tell them naughty things while they… are takin’ care of business or whatever.

I mean, it’s a scientific fact that the male mind is much more image-based and women’s imaginations are driven verbally so if we were talking phone sex for women? Yeah, that I kind of get, but I’m not sure if they even have things like that. I mean, I guess I could have done some research before I woke up and start writing this, but that just strikes me as a situation that could get awkward really fast.

Still, I know that it was used to show the character’s loneliness and eagerness to connect, but I mean, come on guys, can we put a little more thought into it? I mean, nobody can really accuse Lost of not thinking, but that was just lazy storytelling. Because here’s the thing, although I may be the only asshole up at 7 AM writing about how he doesn’t get phone sex, I can’t be the only one who thinks it.

The reality of it is this, and I’m warning you that it’s harsh, but here goes. If you want to spend that money doin’ your business with some stranger over the phone who assures you that she’s just wearing a nightie when she’s probably just telling you what you want to hear, that’s fine. I’m not one to judge so believe me, I won’t. But the internet is full of free porn so if the issue is just getting your rocks off, why spend the money? If someone could explain this to me, that’d be great. Or just the phone sex thing in general. I’ve never really gotten it.

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