We all have movies or TV shows or music that we look back on as we grow up and can’t help but think to ourselves, “Really? No, seriously?!?” Some of it might be because it’s just so damn bad now, but more often than not, I find it’s because there’s always that “adult” humor that manages to slip under your radar. Part of me is always a little grossed out and amused because, well, it’s good stuff (believe me, after a re-watching of Hocus Pocus you’ll know what I’m talking about) but other stuff? Other stuff can only be described as, “oh dear God, why do children find that funny?!?” For instance, whenever Jerry drops an iron on Tom’s head? Yeah, I’ve only had one fall on my foot and it hurt like hell, so I fail to see the hilarity in that.
But see, I wasn’t like most kids. I took myself a little too seriously. I wouldn’t watch cartoons because, well A) My parents never really let me, but B) I always thought that violence was no laughing matter. Now after all this years, i clearly see what I’ve been missing both in cartoons and laughing at violence… when it should be laughed at, of course… although I still don’t get the appeal of America’s Funniest Home Videos… How many times do you hafta watch a guy getting hit in the balls before it gets funny? I’m always surprised by how many guys laugh, because I can say from personal experience, it’s never very funny when it’s happening to you.
But besides the mystery of America’s Funniest Home Videos, there was one other thing that always bothered me. Remember the song I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus? Yeah, well, does anyone remember the next lines? “What a laugh it would have been, if Daddy had only seen, Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night?” She does know what “laugh” means, right? I mean, i get it because daddy and santa claus are the same person so it’s supposed to be all like, “aw, how cute”, but she doesn’t know that, does she? For all she knows, mommy’s making out with some stranger who came down the chimney.
See, to me that doesn’t sound like cause for a laugh, that sounds more like motive and opportunity for a double homicide. But nooo, you can’t write about that because that wouldn’t sell at Christmas time. Either way you look at it, this little girl sounds a little nuts, because for real, who wants their mom to kiss someone else? That’s just weird! I mean, forget the sanctity of marriage or whatever, that’s just… that little girl is pretty much pimping out her mother, that’s all I’m saying. It’s just a weird song to be playing when it comes times for family togetherness or whatever. Unless it’s a song about her mom hooking up with a mall santa, but I think that might even be weirder.