Well, yesterday featured a little scare for me. See, moving into a new place, it’s expected that some things get lost in the move, so I’ve been a little slow in piecing my life back together in a new apartment. No, seriously, I went to IKEA, like 3 weeks ago… just now setting up most of the furniture. Anyway, like I was saying, there are just some items you never use until you have a can that needs opening (the item I’m talking about here is a can opener, for all you geniuses that might have a hard time piecing that one together) or my odd realization yesterday that I have a wok, despite having never used a wok in my entire life, but no skillet. Still, none of these make the cut, so for your reading pleasure, I’m gonna open up a little bit and maybe shine some light on to who I am as a person by listing the 5 Items I’d die without.
Now hold on, don’t call Alcoholics Anonymous on my behalf just yet. See, the thing is, I swear I’m not an alcoholic. Although I’m pretty sure all alcoholics say that, I mean it… I’m pretty sure say most alcoholics say that too, but you’re just gonna hafta take my word for it, okay? Still, there’s something relaxing about enjoying a nice glass of wine of the non-twist off top variety with dinner or while soaking in a tub. Then again, wine is also pretty damn nice for feeling classy while getting drunk with friends. It’s the perfect alone or companion liquor, but it’s enjoyment all hinges on that damn corkscrew. I’ve tried my best without one and ended up drinking bits of cork in my wine for the rest of the night. By the time you get really hammered you stop caring, but it’s the principle of the matter, isn’t it?
I’m a man of surprisingly few needs. I’ve been living off of the same box of pasta for damn near a week, that’s how low-maintenance I tend to be. But here’s the thing… running a wildly successful blog (89 views the other day, impressed?) which consists of my inane rantings and the occasional movie review, it’s kind of important to have access to something I can watch movies on. For most of my time in the new place, it’s been my computer. I’ve been limiting myself to DVDs and what DVDs I can’t find, the glory of the internet usually points me in the right direction of a usable torrent here or there. Still, it’s not the same. There’s an indescribable warmth to watching something on television… or maybe it’s just the appeal of being able to watch something more than a foot away from the screen like I have to on my computer. Ya know, on second thought, it’s probably the latter.
3. Can Opener
Now this one might seem logical, for all you savvy readers, but I bet no one can guess the logic behind it. I mean, sure, there’s the obvious benefit that it opens cans, such as my ravioli the other night, but if we’re being completely honest, the ravioli wasn’t that good and I’m beginning to think ravioli just wasn’t made for a can. Nope, I’m gonna go back to my “I swear I’m not an alcoholic” speech before I reveal that 90% of my uses of a can opener are for the bottle opener it’s got. If we’re just being realistic here, I would normally put “bottle opener” on the list, but the damn things are so tiny, I lose ’em every other week. “man, I really wanna beer, but oh no, how am i gonna open it?” Sure, there are all sorts of clever tricks to open up a bottle, but isn’t it just easier to go to your silverware drawer and use a damn can opener?
Nothing makes me feel more at home than to sit down with a good comic book and just kill a little time. See, lately I haven’t had access to a good comic book shop, so I’ve just been downloading scans and reading them on Jomic, but there’s something to be said about the tangible. the feeling of turning the page and the smell of the paper just bring out the kid in me. Oh, and evidently something one of those TLC shows said stuck and I always use them to “liven up the room.” Old comics make for some pretty cool wall art… of course, you then have to explain to every prospective date what Batman is doing on your wall, but that’s totally not a mood killer, right?
For those interested, the “loss” of my hard drive is what inspired this post. I later found it in the bottom of my Iron man backpack (yes, I know I’m that cool) but for the 83 minutes that I thought it was gone, I was a wreck. My external houses everything, from TV shows that keep me from losing my mind to boredom to um… unsavory items, and even a running track of about 5 years worth of writing, half of which was done on my old computer so had the external hard drive been lost, you could kiss that writing goodbye. It sounds pathetic, and I realize how lame it it to even say it, but that external is such a huge part of who I am. Luckily I don’t have to keep killing myself with these hypotheticals because I found it, so once again all is right in the world of Calhoun.