Things I’ve Learned From the Movies: Drama Edition- Nudity = Success

The way I see it, there are two forms of success in the movie world. There’s critical and then there’s commercial. This isn’t to say the two don’t intersect ever. In fact, they usually do. But the rule I’m about to give you? Well, it really applies to both now that I think about it… But the thing that both have in common?

Everyone loves some good ol’ fashioned nudity.
Seriously. They do.

Now, I hate to apply a double standard but as it stands today, this rule really applies more to the womenfolk than anyone else. Sure, we all remember nude scenes like Jason Segel’s in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but male nudity is played for laughs. Only female nudity is aesthetically and critically pleasing. Now, back to the two tiers.

On the commercial front, you have the less reputable nudity. This social responsibility tends to fall on a select crowd. Take Shannon Elizabeth for example. Yes, that women who has since almost entirely vanished from the spotlight, much like the rest of the cast of American Pie, but can anyone tell me what she’s famous for? Well, there are two reasons… and believe me, it’s not for her comedic timing. That’s right, the two reasons I’m referring to are right there on her chest. Well, not so much on her chest as the fact that they are her chest. She took her top off, much to the delight of most teenage guys everywhere. And lucky for her, it was enough to sustain her for awhile, but like all good things, it came to an end. Well, that and I can’t imagine her breasts are in the same shape as they were back in 1999, so her appeal may be kinda limited these days.

But then you have the critically adored actresses. The Hilary Swanks and the Kate Winslets of the world. Now, I’m not saying you have to get naked to get an Oscar, or at least a nomination, but has it ever really hurt anyone? Swank got naked and got an Oscar. The movie that finally earned Kate Winslet her Oscar featured more screen time of her naked than her clothed. Are the two related? Well, probably not… but you gotta admit it’s a helluva coincidence.

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