Allow me to explain. In honor of one of my good female friends birthday’s, I said I would do whatever she wanted. Now, this young woman and I get along so well because of the fact that she’s about as stereotypically girly as I am stereotypically gay. Meaning, we both have our moments, but it’s not a defining trait. On the occasion of her birthday, she decided her ideal day was two bottles of Arbor Mist (I can’t mock because I fell in love that day) and all 6-some hours of the BBC Pride & prejudice mini-series, affectionately known as “P & P.”
Now, I’m not sure how many of you have experienced all six Colin Firth-smirking, junk-hugging, and painstakingly fleshed out hours of Pride & Prejudice but lemme get you all caught up.
So, there’s this one girl and she’s, like, part of this big family of women, the Bennetts. She’s got some younger sisters (or maybe it’s just one? I dunno, I think I’ve repressed most of my memories of this event) and she’s definitely got an older one, because her older one is, like, in her 20s and everybody’s worried that if she doesn’t get married soon, her ovaries are gonna shrivel up and she’s gonna die alone. Anyways, this main Bennett girl, Elizabeth, is foolhardy, headstrong, with a wicked sense of humor aka everything a man doesn’t want in Austenian times.
Then there’s this guy, Mr. Darcy, who’s really shy which, at the time, everyone interprets as really rude. Elizabeth and Darcy bicker, not so subtly laced with hints of undeniable sexual tension. Then some bad stuff happens. Then Darcy goes away or something… I dunno, they don’t see each other for a long time, but then after, like, a crazy long time, they reunite and Elizabeth is all like, “oh hey Darcy, I guess you aren’t such a cock smooch after all. Wanna do it?” and then they totally do it… but like, “Jane Austen style” do it, which really means they get married and (I assume) have procreational sex cuz that’s just how they roll.
Ya know, I think I may have lost some of the subtleties in the translation, but you get the point. It’s basically the plot of every rom-com ever except… ya know, it came first.
Now, I gotta be honest, aside from the pretty people and the tight pants (seriously, Firth has gotta be firing blanks after shooting this mini-series) I don’t really get it. Don’t get me wrong, I get the story, even if I didn’t relay it properly, but… is that story seriously worth putting up with 6 hours of television?
If you’re anything like me and you find yourself in that awkward position where you’ve already committed to doing something you really don’t wanna do, at least make sure you’ve got Arbor Mist on your side.